It's engagement season and I'm so excited for all of you newly engaged couples! But what's the first step in the wedding planning process after you get engaged? The decision to hire a wedding planner is something you should think about right away. But whether or not you hire a wedding planner, you'll have a lot of decisions to make up until the wedding day. How do you best delegate those decisions to family members, your planner and you as a couple? Luckily we have Heather here from Music City Events to help us navigate the Nashville wedding planning process and task delegation! Take a look at this in-depth interview on delegating wedding tasks – I'm sure you'll learn something in the process… I know I did!
How can hiring a wedding planner calm an overwhelmed couple?
Heather: Most people have never planned a wedding before and the sheer number of decisions to be made can be overwhelming. Having someone who solely plans wedding and executes them in a way that pleases your ENTIRE family provides immediate calm! A good planner not only navigates the decisions that need to be made but also ensure expectations are set (and met!) all along the way. Working with a professional ensures your wishes are honored above all else, while also providing a result that thrills guests and family alike!
Is it okay to delegate some of your wedding tasks to family members?
Heather: Absolutely yes! But, it must be with precise detail and prep. A couple does not have time to accomplish any of the dozen items needed in the few weeks leading up to a wedding or on the day of… there are eyelashes to be glued and bow ties to be tied! When planned in advance, with involvement and direction with the planner, it can be very helpful to delegate tasks to family members. This often also lets your family feel involved without taking anything away from you, the couple. There is a way to control the outcome and not have to do all the work in the hours before the wedding ceremony. Focus on those eyelashes and bowties!
If so, what are some good tasks to assign to certain family members?
Heather: We recommend involving family in a way that a couple knows will mean something to that person. They really do want to help, so let them! Anything that needs to be done in the final 30 days before the wedding should be tasked to family and friends. On the day of, give Dad something tangible to be in charge of, such as delivering the alcohol or any DIY goods. Your parents’ friends, or your godparents, would be more than happy to deliver breakfast or lunch items to the wedding parties. Mom and her sisters or besties want to be close to the wedding party, so let them take care of you and your friends. Let them hover, have them pour champagne for everyone (themselves included!), and by God let them stare at you and tear up because you are their baby and the most beautiful bride or groom they’ve ever seen. Giving family tasks is not only helpful to you, the couple, but allows your family to feel like they are part of the best day of your life.
What tasks should only the couple handle?
Heather: A couple should handle almost ANY task they want to handle, up to one month from the wedding date! Go insane with your planner(s)! HAVE FUN! Go as crazy as you like on whichever task or item means the most to you. In the month before, you will naturally focus on the marriage because your partner needs someone who is clear headed and knows that this wedding is actually the beginning of their marriage. Acknowledge that you’ve done everything you could to ensure a perfect day and begin to let go and relax. Your planner and friends are there to handle all the last minute items needed.Go ahead and just be excited because everything is going to be so on point! Know that all YOUR tasks were handled on time, and that your planner has everything else in place so that you, your family, and your friends can enjoy the wedding. We encourage couples to be as involved as they like in whatever tasks or decisions you like, but ensure you are healthy in body and spirit, honoring your partner and genuinely looking forward to your day.
What tasks should couples let their planner handle?
Heather: If you think to yourself, “oh ok. So really I should look into this.” – send it right over to your planner. Usually, a couple will feel strongly about a few things and those are the tasks you should take on, because they will be fun for you! We recently had a bride who loves calligraphy, so she hand addressed every invitation among other things. This was her “zen time” and she loved it. To many, that sounds like torture! Whatever you naturally get excited about are totally worthy of your time and attention. Every other question, logistic, random fact, expectation and stigma should be addressed with the wedding planner. A wedding planner will know how to handle all the other items that a couple doesn't need to stifle their pizzazz!
Why is it important for couples to delegate?
Heather: Any task that could hinder you from being THERE for your partner on your wedding day is a task I recommend delegating to someone, ANYONE, else. We encourage our couples to take a day to reflect what is important to you on your wedding day. If doing yoga in the morning, or making a coffee stop for everyone enthuses you, by all means arrange those things! But, if you prefer to just hang out with your wedding party or make sure your soon-to-be spouse is cared for – do that! Because, you are the couple that we are all celebrating and what’s important to you, is important to the world.
What do you tell couples who think they can handle all of the planning themselves?
Heather: You absolutely can handle all of the planning yourself. Our team believes in you and know that you have something in mind for your wedding day that you can pull together, PERIOD. Go for it, you got this. And, on the day itself, we’ll ensure that it looks and feels perfect so you can enjoy all your hard work. But, for those who think about it and determine they don’t want to spend 20 hours a week researching and planning, don’t want their immune systems to be shot when they hit their honeymoon, and don’t want to stress about what you are or are not forgetting, we’re here for you. No one should ever look back on their engagement and think “Well gee. That was awful. Glad it’s over!”
Wow – thank you so much for sharing all of this incredible insight with us, Heather! Be sure to check out more of Music City Events' work on their website and give them a follow on Instagram @musiccityevents.
All photos by LMR Photography
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